People come to the Center for a variety of reasons: - Troubled Relationships
- Anxiety and Panic Attacks
- Depression
- ADD
- Impulse Control Problems
- Worry and Stress
- Personal Growth
- Performance Optimization
| Some of our past clients have experienced: - Improved relationships
- Freedom from anxiety and panic
- Relief from depression
- Better attention, focus, and impulse control
- Decreased stress
- Appreciation of themselves
- More happiness and fulfillment
|
It is normal for relationships to suffer as the pressure and strains of everyday life mount. Love may disappear, replaced by resentment and anger. Each partner can view this differently depending on their own experience of family life. One may despair, while the other may view it as a temporary blip.
When a couple has come together hastily - in response to passion, pregnancy or other circumstance, disappointments can surface and fester when the excitement subsides. Renegotiating with a skilled counselor can help build a more realistic and deeper relationship.
How can couples counseling have a better chance of success?
Couples therapy can only work if there is one condition present from early on: both members of the couple must be primarily motivated by love and a desire to do better. If one or both members of the couple is mostly interested in using the other as a trash can into which they can dump all of their troubles, then there isn't a basis of a good relationship to build on. Each member of the couple must become dedicated to working constructively in each session - and to do their best to contain their destructive impulses.
The primary task of the therapist is to help each member of the couple understand his or her own unique contribution to the problems in the relationship. Just like it takes two to tango, each member of the couple plays his or her part in the relationship's troubles. While the therapist cannot take one person's side over the other, she must have the courage to point out the troubles in each person so that they can change for the better. As one of my mentors says, the therapist must be neutral like Switzerland - no on anybody's side but on everybody's side.
The primary task of the couple is to take a good, hard look at themselves. It is so common for each member of a couple in conflicts to put the blame onto their partner while defending themselves as a model citizen in the relationship. Defensiveness and projection of blame are deadly to couples therapy. In order to succeed, each member must be open to looking in the mirror and dedicated to making changes in themselves. This is truly the building blocks of good communication and can be applied as well in Marriage Counseling.
